Salty Crickets Bar and Grill

In My Next 30 Years. . .

I really like that song. I now offically have my first 30 years behind me and I am truly looking forward to the next 30.

Goals for the next 30 years:

1. Finish a Triathlon

2. Have a baby

3. Enjoy Life and watch the kids grow up

4. Learn Spanish

5. Continue to be happily married.

6. Continue to learn and grow as a PA and take better care of my patients.

7. Be a better friend.

8. Spend more time with my family. Love more. Laugh more. Enjoy more.

9. Travel to the Smithsonian, Idaho, and maybe the east coast (like South Carolina or Georgia or the Appalachain Mountains).

10. Write a book or two.

I will make more as time goes on. Right now, that is enough. I just want to enjoy now.

Happy Birthday to me!

Small Town Benefits

One of the many blessings of working in a small town is that I often treat friends and family. The upside is that I can joke with them on occasion. One of my buds came in for some lab work and I called her back today with the results.

"X, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are pregnant with a rhinocerous and the bad news is that you have fatal cancer. Please call the clinic back for an explination of your results."

You don't know how long I have really really wanted to leave a message like that. Sick, twisted me. My bud is as twisted as I am; she hee hawed for 10 minutes.

Thank goodness the test results really were normal.

No Baby Blues

Last week one of the nurses at work told me that I needed to make sure I was "at my absolute healthiest" to get pregnant. I replied, "Yeah, cause all the crack whores who show up pregnant are soooo healthy."

I'm really beginning to wish I could get my money back on all the useless birthcontrol I bought in college. Back then I thought I was being "responsible." Now I know I should have just bought more beer. But at least I'm not spending money on it now. Only on advil and wine (for use during menstral cycle).

Scenes from the Madhouse

The kids are here for the summer. Interesting conversations ensue.

Scene 1: Kitchen (horribly dirty. Had been sparkling clean 5 min before) Daddy (J), Neshj and D (12 year old boy) are present.

Neshj (opening refrigerator): What is that? (points to an open Tupperware with a liquid orange substance in it)

Daddy: I have no idea. Orange juice?

D: No it's not!! I made vanilla pudding! (gets spoon)

Neshj and Daddy: That's not vanilla pudding.

Daddy: What happened? Something's not right if that is vanilla pudding.

D: It's still fine! See! (eats spoonful)

Scene 2: Family is getting ready to go feed animals at ranch. Tres (6 year old girl) enters wearing t-shirt, shorts and untied tennis shoes without socks.

Neshj: Tres, honey, we are getting ready to go to the ranch. Please put some socks on and tie your shoes.

Tres: Ok.

(Tres goes to her room. 2.5 seconds later returns wearing pink flowered 2 piece bathing suit and cowboy boots.)

Neshj: Do you have socks on?

Tres: (giggles) Oh! I forgot.... (leaves to room again.)

Scene 3: Evening, getting ready for bed after swimming. Tres (very sleepy), Booger (9 year old girl) and Neshj are in living room. Girls are in their bathing suits. *note - this scene occurred shortly after the girls got here from their mother's house - I hadn't had time to unpack their suitcases yet.

Neshj: Girls, I need you to go put your night gowns on.

Girls: Ok. (they leave for bedroom. 5 minutes later Booger returns in nightgown. 15 minutes lapse. Finally Tres appears wearing sister's nightgown and bathing suit very visible underneath nightgown.)

Neshj: Tres, honey, you need to take your bathing suit off first.

Tres: Oh. I forgot.

Booger: That's my other nightgown! Not yours Tres!

Tres: I can't find mine!!!! (starts crying). Mommy didn't pack me any!

Neshj: Tres, did you look in your suitcase? (Tres stomps off to correct things. 20 minutes go by. Neshj goes to investigate. In kid's bedroom she finds Tres with bathing suit on and sister's clothes strewn over room.)

Neshj: Everything ok?

Tres: (crying) I don't have a nightgown and I looked EVERYWHERE!!

Neshj: Did you look in your suitcase? (sets sister's suitcase aside. Opens Tres's untouched suitcase.)

Tres: I LOOKED EVERYWHERE!! (Neshj is sifting though neatly folded obviously untouched by child's hands clothes. Finds nightgown and hands to Tres. Tres sighs and starts putting on nightgown.)

Neshj: Honey, you need to take your bathing suit off first...

Tres: Oh, I forgot.

Scene 4: At grandparent's house. Tres is totally in love with her big brother, and follows him everywhere.

D: Ouch! I skinned my ankle. Where are the bandaids?

Neshj: D, look in the bathroom cabinet.

(D leaves. 5 minutes later he limps into kitchen with 2 bandaids in X on right foot. Tres limps in right behind him with 2 bandaids in X on left foot.)

Daddy: (underbreath, laughing) Tres you got the wrong foot....

Pain Thoughts

Pain and pain perception - I deal with it every day at work and it still confounds and amazes me. For each individual it is a totally different experience. Much of pain depends on fear, pain experience/tolerance, and perception.

Fear of "what will happen next", "what happened to cause the pain in the first place", and "what is happening right f***ing now" exacerbate pain. In the ER I can totally understand being freaked out by the environment. Let's face it a room full of strangers with needles, bleeping and blinking machines, and all these unknowns is scary. To anyone. Especially children. I try to comfort and explain things, but it's still scary to hurt and be in an uncomfortable environment (and we have soft colors, etc in our ER). The what will they do to me next and how much pain will it cause? The anticipation of an unknown or unexpereinced event is awful. Especially when you are already stressed. And being in the ER is a reminder that F***! I am HURT. SOMETHING IS WRONG.

People also feel out of control. Something beyond their ability to deal with is happening, and you have to trust a total stranger to give you advice on what to do. Your body or your loved one is in someone else's hands.

And everyone reacts differently to situations. I have known people to walk on a broken leg for 2 weeks because they were too busy to go get it checked. I also have people who will come in for the slightest bump. I have actually had a patient with a hang nail. Literally. And they swore they were in the worst pain of their life. I believe this has a lot to do with pain experience too. The person with the broken leg has had many many painful experiences and learned how to deal with pain. Others, especially kids, have generally had little pain experience or the experiences they had were very emotionally traumatic and left them with a large fear of pain.

Even more confounding is pain medication. NSAIDS (ibuprofen and the like) work best for many types of pain. However chest pain (cardiac) often only really responds to morphine. And what is a large dose for one person is often not nearly enough for another person (body weight excluded).

Chronic pain is a totally different cat. It's very difficult to manage and depression is a large part of management. Chronic pain - thinking that pain will never end- causes depression. And depression exacerbates pain. How do you break the circle? How do you teach someone to manage their situation? Are our modern treatments really all that effective? (some days I think yes, some days I think no).

I don't believe I had nearly enough education about this in PA school. As an undergrad I did research in pain, pain perception and emotions. We found that negative emotions such as fear increased pain perception while positive emotions (nurturing, happy, loving) decreased pain perception. I find this especially true for kids. The more fear I can remove from the environment, the more I can make them comfortable and relaxed the less they hurt. I highly suspect that the more positive nurturing the faster the recovery of the patient.

The only thing that I think I can do to truly help my patients is to listen to them. I know that I screw up sometimes, I know that it's hard to sort the drug seekers from the "real" patients (but lets face it, I'm sure the drug craving is a true "pain" to the drug seeker). Balancing on the line between enough pain medication and too much is difficult. I only hope I get better with practice.

Eye Protection Needed

Yesterday J and I decided to go to town and see a movie and do a bit of shopping. The nearest town with a movie theater, Wal-Mart and mall is about an hour from us. (I told you I live in heaven.) So we do as much as we can when we go to town.

I decided I need to invest in a few new bras as the duck tape holding my old ones together is starting to go. Bra shopping is an awful experience for me. I mentioned before I am blessed in the booby department. I have noticed that women with pebbles want boulders and us boulder women would be more than happy to cut out a large chunk and share. I literally get blisters under my boobs when I run (because I HAVE to wear an underwire. Just ask Steff). I dislike men/people looking (even though I know they will) and wear large baggy clothes to cover up. But I also NEVER get to wear the pretty froo froo bras. They would fall apart; I would fall out in an hour. I would love to try the ones with water and cushions. They look like fun. Nope, for me it's more the iron cage - you know the ones, with at least four hooks, underwires, and more straps and metal than a come-a-long. I have even used my large sturdy bras as a lead rope for my horse when I was in a bind and no one was around. Perhaps this is why they are wearing out.

I'm rambling as usual. Back to the bra shopping. I have gained a few pounds in the last few years and I figured I needed to go up a size in my bra. I decided not to get measured as that never seems to do any good anyway. Every time they have measured me the little blue haired lady tsks and sighs, and lets out more tape. Then she says "you didn't look that big when you came in," and I then try whatever size she says and it never fits. She says "Well, that should be your size." I say, "But this one shows my back fat and I could put someone's eye out." She sighs again and leans too close and loses her left eye. Okay, that only happened once.

So I just end up trying on a variety of different styles and sizes until I find one that sort of works. Why can't they make this easier?  Why can't manufacturers agree what a particular size is? I tried on three different bras that were the same size. One was too big. One was too small. One made my right boob look like the pointy end of an ice cream cone and the left like a folded up tire tube. Manufacturers need to put on the tags what shape the bra is good for- cone shaped boobs, pancakes, pre kids, post kids, right bigger than left, left bigger than right, makes you look bigger, makes you look smaller, surgically perfect, etc.

The good news is that after 2 hours I found a sports bra that I can run in without giving myself a head injury or a blister. The bad news is I still need to find some for everyday. I may have to break down and ask the little blue haired lady for help again. I hope she has an eye patch handy...

Fours

Fours.... One of those get to know me things because I haven't posted in a while and can't think of a good topic.....

Four jobs I've have had in my life:
1. Paramedic 

2. Waitress at Pizza Hut 

3. Snow Skiing Teaching Assistant   

4.  Ranch Hand - my first job. Mostly I cleaned stalls

   

Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Caddyshack 

2. Steel Magnolias 

3. Walk the Line   

4. Regarding Henry

Four places I have lived:
1. Lansing, MI

2. Aubrey, TX

3. Ft Worth, TX

4. College Station, Tx

Four TV shows I like to watch:
1. American Idol   

2. Horse programs on RFD TV

3. Ellen   

4. ER

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. New Zealand

2. Cancun, Mexico, Playa Del Carmen Mexico 

3. Colorado (all over) 

4. Ruidoso, New Mexico

Four sports activities I have played
1. Horseback riding   

2. skiing

3. running/jogging 

4. archery

   

Four websites I visit daily:
1. hotmail (not everyday, but frequently)   

2.  various blogs - Christie, a little pregnant, JustLinda

3. amazon.com (not everyday but often)
4. my bank (not everyday, but frequently)

Four of my favorite foods:

1. chocolate

2. chocolate

3. my father in law's steaks

4. salads

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. with my buddies and family

2.  at the ranch   

3. on the beach

4. in the mountains

Four of my favorite bands:
1. rubber

2. Hair

3. Live

4. of friends

(ha ha- I don't have a favorite band, I like lots of stuff. My all time favorite singer is Willie Nelson.)

Questions about Death and Children

Life is too short sometimes. My uncle in law died yesterday. He and his wife were very extremely happy for the short time they were together. They married 4 years ago. I am happy that they had good times together. I am happy that he was such a wonderful person and that he tried in every way to help this family. We will miss you Donald.

The girls will be here Friday night. The memorial service is Saturday. Tres is having a hard time dealing with her emotions over Donald's death. J and her mother talked for a long time about whether or not to take her to the service. Is 6 too young? He was cremated so there won't be a body. And Aunt C wants the whole family to wear plaid to the service (Donald loved plaid). So, even though there will be tears, it is a celebration of his life. There will be laughter and much love. What are ya'll's thoughts? When is it ok to introduce a child to the concept of death and their own mortality?  How do you talk to them about this stuff? (fyi - we have decided that if Tres wants to go to the service and is prepared emotionally, we will take her. If not she and I will hang out and meet up with the rest of the family for lunch and Easter egg hunting).

On a lighter note -

Miracle is doing well. She is drinking lots of milk and being generally well behaved. She is still a bit uncoordinated. She jumped and landed flat on her face. I couldn't stop laughing.

AAA Did Not Pay Me to Write This Blog

Miracle is doing well. Her second day of life was good. Much better than the first. And none of the other heifers have given birth yet so all is well.

My day was a  bit trying - vehicles can be so frustrating but thank God for AAA. They are WONDERFUL!!! I got a membership as a Christmas gift from my parents when I was in PA school. At first I was like "gee. thanks. um that's great." Now I call my folks and sing praises and praises about AAA. I kept the membership mostly out of loyalty to my folks. Sure, AAA had popped the lock for me a couple times, and saved me a few bucks at the hotel, but nothing special. Then this year happened.

When J and I came back from Cancun we couldn't find the key to the truck. We still can't find it. I think it fell out of his backpack somewhere and may still be in Mexico. AAA rescued us at the airport. Um. Twice. In the same night. For our stupidity. Twice. See, we usually leave an extra key in the truck, but um, since we were afraid of the big bad city and car theft and such, we took it out. Only we forgot we took it out. So AAA had to come once to pop the door, and then send a different truck to make a key since we didn't actually have the key we thought we had. Which actually worked out well because about the time they finished (the second time) our luggage arrived.

That was great. This next deal was even better. The diesel truck has had some trouble starting since the end of Feb. First we thought it was the batteries. Replaced those (they were swollen). And replaced the fuel filter. And had the truck looked at. Then hit a deer and took it in for body repair. And today I got it back. It started fine at the auto body place. And the grocery store. And Tractor Supply. And Schlotsky's. I stopped at the feed store (to get more calf replacer). It would crank and crank but never start. My FIL (father in law) came and rescued me. Turns out Chevy is having a problem with fuel getting into the oil and crank cases and pistons and engine stuff that thank God is still under warranty thank God is still under warranty thank God is still under warranty and has a service bulletin out for it and everything. SOOO. I then had to have the truck towed 53 miles for service (to nearest dealership able to handle the problem. I told you we lived in a small town.). AAA (plus membership) tows up to 100mi under the plan (which is why I get the plus membership. If I get stranded while driving it will be at least 50 miles towing). This means my ~$120 annual membership for both J and I has saved us I'm low ball guesstimating close to $300! And it's only April! I renewed at the end of January!! And the people who answer the phone are nice! I can't sing enough praises about AAA. I swear they paid me nothing for this blog. (why would they?) This is just personal experience.

I did put on my comment card that they need to bring beer and peanuts for those not driving. Somehow I don't think they will use my suggestion. But they really are worth it. Even without the beer and peanuts.

Redneck Moment

You know you are a redneck if you find yourself frantically wiping calf slobber (and poo) off your "good" jeans so you can wear them to town.....